I want to be good!

Why do we spend so much time trying to be good Christians? I grew up thinking that I had to do the right things or else something bad would happen to me. If I swore, I was surely going to get a horrible disease. And, I chose to think of others in this light. Well, they must have done something wrong to deserve a life like that! But, then, I started to read what God had to say about it all, in the Bible. I began to realize that he does see good and he does see evil. But, when we say that we love him, he no longer sees the bad, he only sees the good. So, my point remains, why do we keep trying to be good, if we already are!

The problem with trying to be good is that we inadvertently use a measuring stick for those around us. We start looking at others thinking, wow they are really living up to God's standards when they do cool things like share the gospel with someone, go on a mission trip, or serve the homeless. We also then look at others and think, well, I'm not as bad as they are, I mean they always give their opinion and argue with people in public, I'm so much more self controlled. These measures are what destroy our progress in God's plan. We become worriers, control freaks, busybodies, jealous, and prideful. We lose sight of the intent behind God making us followers of him.

The joy I find behind believing the gospel is that God no longer sees his followers as bad. When we sin, sure he sees it, but he has already forgiven it! When he sees good works, he gives himself a pat on the back because he made us do it. There is so much freedom knowing that my sister Joan is valued just as much as I am. There is nothing that she does that splits her relationship with God as true of my relationship with him. And, my brother John, who just became a Christian, and is struggling to get out of his relationship with drugs, and sometimes fails, is seen in the same light as me... the light of Jesus.

There is no golden hero Christian. We are all the same. We have been justified by Jesus on the cross. Our sins are taken away. And, God can see straight through us. So, when you put the coin in the basket, don't look to your right and left and see what everyone else is doing. God knows. Don't think you can add a single thing to God by doing all the right things. He actually doesn't care about that. He cares about what is going on inside your heart. He cares about your attitude towards him and others. There is a battle that rages on inside of us to be good. It is a desire that is flamed by the truth of wanting to know God. If you desire to be good, it is because you truly desire to know more about God.

Step away from the measuring stick. Let go of the word good and replace it with JUSTIFIED, MADE RIGHTEOUS. No work of art is as perfect as the one that God does inside our hearts. He looks at us and sees a masterpiece. He does not see broken bits, loose ends, and strings. No, he sees a perfect work of art on display for all to see. And, we ought to think of each other in that light. No matter what we look like on the outside, there is a major work happening on the inside. We should acknowledge that taking place in each person that follows Jesus and love them for it.

Whom do you prefer?

Do you prefer others? The Bible teaches us that we are to look to others with preference. Romans 12 is where I get this information. What a difficult challenge you may think? How do I actually prefer those around me over myself? Well, the answer is by God's grace. We cannot wake up and think, man, I am really going to love people today. I am going to try super hard to love that person that always talks about themselves today. Oh, and in Bible study, I am going to say only kind words to others. Yep, that's what I will do today. It doesn't work that way my friends. Preference for others, comes from God.

When we read Romans 12, we can be hit with a deluge of thoughts like, I should be better at this. But, there is an amazing verse included in this section that spells it out for us. Hold on to this friends.

"Living then, as every one of you does, in pure grace, it's important that you not misinterpret yourselves as people who are bringing this goodness to God. No, God brings it all to you. The only accurate way to understand ourselves is by what God is and by what he does for us, not by what we are and what we do for him." Romans 12:3 (MSG)

We do not add anything to God when we act good to others. Actually, we distract others from the true God. It is only when we allow God to act through us that we fulfill his plan. It is hard for us to understand because we do not think like God. So, if you find yourself struggling with these verses, you should! God's grace is something we cannot understand fully.

But, how do we apply this to life? How do we go on living and preferring others? I think the answer is by spending time with God each day, hearing what he has to say. We do not have to plead with God to help us love. He will do it. We just need to give him attention. We need to let him do work in us. If you find yourself having trouble loving, sit, listen to God. He will show you something about yourself that needs work and that he is planning on fixing. Sometimes, he will ask you to do something about it, like give a cloak to your enemy, or he may just make you aware of it. But, try not to try to love. Its like a horrible romantic comedy where two people force themselves into a relationship so that they can have a happy ending.

To prefer can also mean to put forward or present. That is what I suggest we do. Present those that we need to love to God. Explain how we feel about them and listen to God as he changes our heart towards them. Preferring requires submission. We must submit ourselves to God's grace and let him change the things he needs to and renew our hearts.

Do not be discouraged when you find it hard to love. Rather, relay on God and his power to help you. You do not add a single thing to God by being a good person. Therefore, give it up, and let God do the work of love, its his main occupation.

Identity Lost in Competitiveness

I should be sleeping but, I cannot. Not because of jet lag or anything of the sort. But, because I woke up thinking and praying for my sister-in-law Sarah. She completed a marathon yesterday after many months of hard training. It seems as if things were going as planned and then she developed plantar fasciitis. But, she did not let that stop her, she ended up running a personal record. And, for that, I sit, awake rejoicing, thanking God, and so happy for her.

If I was living by the world's standards, my reaction could be quite different. You see, we are told to compete with others, we are told that people are obstacles that we must overcome. We stop looking at the people around us as people to love, cherish, embrace, and we see them just as an opponent. While running with Sarah this winter, I learned that people are so much more than that. I also learned that competitiveness stems out of not knowing your identity in Jesus. When we know that we belong to Jesus, we love others. We do not try and beat them. But, rather we come beside them, encourage them, and run the race with them.

I am so happy this morning. I happy that Sarah is happy. I know how much she wanted to do well, maybe for the wrong reasons ;) but, I know her heart. I know that it may be imperfect, but she trained and worked hard so that she could finish well. And, I love her for that. That is how God looks at us. He is happy when he looks down at us trying to run with perseverance this life set before us. He knows that sometimes our motives are out of whack, but he loves us anyway. God is so gracious to us. But, because we see as the world sees, sometimes we miss that.

So, I want to encourage you, to see yourself as workmanship of God that isn't completed yet, but well on its way to being something marvelous. Don't fall into the trap that you are made of junk. When you do, you will end up sad, competitive, and lonely. None of those things are what God wants for you life. Rather, look to him for love and support. He will show you that you are much more than a medal or a prize. Most of all, ask him to help you love people. I am so thankful for the way that God has moved in my relationship with Sarah. Instead of competing with one another, we have found a way to love and support one another. This is only an act of God. And, because of that I sit up rejoicing, and praising God for what he has done for her! That my friends is true joy in this life.

Find your identity in God. Stop believing the lies you have been told. Embrace the truth that God loves you, works on you, and is never finished making you who he wants you to be...

My Vegan/Vegetarian Experiment

I have truly been considering eating a vegan diet. Since coming from Boston to Singapore, I have started to eat vegetarian. As you know, I am pregnant. So, I have been tracking my daily intake of vitamins, minerals, and nutrients on an application on my iPhone. I have noted that my fat, cholesterol levels have gone down, B vitamins, calcium, and vitamin A, K, C have been going up. So, I started thinking, maybe this is the right direction to lean towards. Now, I am highly influenced by the fact that in most food courts you will find headless chickens and raw fish heads displayed for all to see. Combine that with some morning sickness and you have a recipe for vegetarian eating. But, maybe this truly is the way for us to be healthier.

So, what I will do is post some of my recipes. Hopefully, some with a little Asian flare, and let you know how they taste (with the help of Chris), their nutritional profile, and how I'm feeling. Then, you can try them... Sounds like fun to me! Hope you join in!

Church Hunting or is it Church Culting?

The quest begins on finding a church that we can be a part of while here in Singapore. We attended two churches when we visited in July-August. The first one was very large and did not feel personal. The second was a church plant. And, since we were part of that in Boston, we are unsure if its the best fit.

When thinking about our decision, I feel prompted by the thought that finding a church isn't really how I should be looking at this. You see, saying that I want to find a church implies that there is an urgency in doing things the way other do them. Now, I think that being part of a church is the supreme way to experience God's love for all creation, but saying I go to church does not mean that I am superior to someone that is still searching to find the right fit for church for their family.

There is too much judgement in Christian circles today. People will mention to others that if they are not attending Sunday services, going to Bible study, and serving on a team of sorts that are not fulfilling their religious lives. That is just not right. You see, the church in the Bible is not one with organizational structures for everything from the way people say hello to one another, to the time worship starts and ends, to what captivating topic will be discussed. Actually, church in the Bible is much more fluid than that. People would attend for hours, praying, singing, listening to encouragement from men that witnessed first hand the works of Jesus.

No wonder why so many people stop going to church nowadays! It is nothing like that! Really, I mean, we have a time when things start, the poor kids are carted off to their "special" learning session with snacks, and then the parents learn separately from their kids, and eventually about forty five minutes to one hour later the family is reunited to go home and live separate lives. Not really what I'm thinking the Bible says about church. So forgive me for being so blunt, but when you challenge someone that isn't "committed" to a church you might want to ask them why! Mostly, it has something to do with the way your church differs from the Bible!

We need to do a better job as God's church on earth. We really have to examine our priorities. If we just think church fits in a slot in our lives we are sadly mistaken. Church is our lives. Church is God here on earth. And, if we just think we need to attend a church because its the right thing to do, we shouldn't even enter the door. If you are starting a church, you need to think less about how to impact the people around you and more about the truth of Jesus, the gospel, and his love to save people. Too often we see church as a social justice ministry on happy pills. That is quackery! The church is a place to meet God, learn who God is, and to be transformed by him to love others. If you leave church and you do not feel yourself loving more, something is wrong.

If you are not a Christian, I sincerely apologize for what church looks like to you. But, please give it a chance. We are all imperfect. And, things take time to look the way God wants them to. You do not need to attend church to feel good, you do not need to attend church to make things right with God, you do not need to attend church for any reason other than to know God more. When people that love God get together, there is a connection that is found that does not exist anywhere else. It is a place where God reconciles everyone to him and you realize that you need him to help you love. If that doesn't happen when you enter a church, I would say don't go, keep searching. I know people are raising their arms at me right now, being like, "Danielle don't endorse church hopping." But, I'm sticking my tongue out at them. Do it. Don't settle for a place that doesn't put God in his right place, on the throne of our lives.

So our search will go on here in Singapore. And, we will find a place that honors Jesus above all programs, above all ministries, above all things. We will not settle just to let others know we are still going to church. We will learn many things about God through this process. And, I tell you one thing, I will not do something just because I am supposed to. Ask my dad....my brother...they know I like to rebel! And, for that I am thankful. If we don't question why, we will never learn anything!

What are you made of?

Chris and I have arrived for our Singaporean adventure. Glamorous you may think, but I think it will be a challenge well worth it. Word of advice, if you are married and travel over 20 hours to get some place, you will experience turbulence. The key is to avoid pretending it is not happening and to embrace the other rugged side of your spouse. You see, traveling is a chance to learn patience, trust, and joy in the little things. Chris and I are approaching one month without an apartment to call our own. It is tough to be living out of suitcases and wondering where you can do your next set of laundry. But, at the same time, Jesus did call his disciples to pack very little when they traveled and to relay on him. A stretch for someone as pampered as myself. However, it is a good lesson to be learning. What is really important?

This trip will teach us many things. So far, I am learning that my hair is wavy in 90 percent humidity, that I am quite anxious over very small details, and that I have a high standard of living. In all of these things, God is teaching me that my hair is beautiful no matter the humidity, that he cares about the details so I don't have to, and that I need to give up on living the riches life. I would say these are very good lessons to learn in two days! How much more am I going to learn in 17 months!

To encourage you, I would say that you do not have to travel across the world to figure things about yourself. Sometimes, you just have to take a risk. Get out of your comfort zone and you will find out a whole lot about the heart that lives inside of you. You will learn really good things about your heart. And, you will learn some not so good things. But, the cool thing is that God works on both. Travel or no travel, you should pick up the least of your things, go out into the world with your head held high, and embrace the life before you...no matter how your hair looks! I challenge you today to ask yourself, what am I made of? If its fear, let it go! If its courage, embrace it, step out and reach for the life God is holding in front of you.

Changing Plans

Over the past several months, God has been teaching me about prayer. Recently, he showed me that he can change his plans in response to our prayers. I never used to think that way. I used to believe that we prayed but, really God made the decision. However, after my last post, I was praying fervently for a friend that was facing an upsetting circumstance in her life. I passionately prayed to God that it was not fair, that the circumstance could be moved by his power. I started to believe in my heart that God could change things. And, in those moments of my prayer, God made it clear to me that he can change his mind. He can change the circumstance.

Most of the time when I pray, I feel as though God is listening but, he has the plan already, so really what is the big deal that I am praying. However, through this experience, I learned that when I pray to God it is often like when I talk to Chris about a situation that I want him to change. I will have an idea of how things should go. Chris has an idea of how things should go. Some of the time these things are opposite of each other. However, because he loves me, he listens and is willing to change his plan based on what I share with him. Why can't this be true of God? Why is it that I think God only has one way of doing things?

So, I encourage you today, if there is something that you want God to fix, heal, restore, etc, share it with him. Don't back down. God wants you to share how you feel, what you want, what you think is right, everything really with him. And, sometimes, he hears your plea, and changes the plan.