God's Goodness

Looking back on the last year of my life, I am filled with joy. There has been so much transition, some quite painful, but so much hope. I have seen my heart morph into a new one and for that I rejoice! I would hear people say, "God works everything out for His good," and I would wonder what that really meant. I would strive to figure it out, but as with any striving, nothing would come of it. However, this year, I have drove head first into the deep water of God's goodness. My eyes, heart, and mind have been opened wide to a glimpse of how good a God he really is.

Suffering never seems pleasant at the time. Your heart may feel grief and sorrow like a deep crater. However, if you follow Jesus, there is this grace that comes and fills the holes in your heart. I have felt that this year. So remarkably, I have found God's grace, and its real and not just a talked about thing. When I look back at the course of events that were my life, I can see where God filled in the bad stuff with His good stuff. The thing I am most grateful for is the faith God gave me to trust that He truly is good and that though the circumstances that surround me may be bad, He will help me to see the good spots a little later. When I look back, I would not change a thing. There is freedom in knowing that there is a God in heaven that harmoniously orchestrates my life to sing of His greatness.

There is no fear in life anymore because I have been exposed to a side of God I never knew existed. If I lived a different life, I would have never encountered this God. I would still be living in a striving way without trust and reliance on God. Now, I feel this is the message I am to preach, a God that pulls you out of the pit of suffering, to show you how great He really is. Let us not waste time wondering what God is doing. We can use our eyes and our hearts to tune in and set the dial to His station. God is broadcasting His goodness all over this world, we are just sometimes too blind to see and rejoice in His goodness in our suffering.

Doing the Will of God

"When you are rightly related to God, it is a life of freedom and liberty and delight, you are God's will, and all your common-sense decisions are His will for you unless He checks."

Oswald Chambers; The Utmost for His Highest- March 20th

This devotional helped me to realize the purpose of prayer in my life. By meeting the trinity in prayer, my heart becomes aligned with God's will. Most of the time, this brings me to a place of peace and understanding of where my life is going with God's help. When I find that there is confusion in my life, it is reason to pray all the more.

The purpose of prayer is not just to ask and it will be given, but rather to seek the face of God. Prayer aligns us with God's will. It brings us to a place of friendship with God that is unmatched. As with any friend, the more time we invest in getting to know them, the deeper our relationship becomes, and we operate with ease around them. The same is true of God. A friendship with God needs to be nourished through prayer. As we tend to the relationship, our heart and His heart are joined, and our decisions become much more apparent. So, I challenge you, if you are struggling to find God's will in your life, pray. Pray and develop a deep abiding relationship with God. Let this be the motivation for your prayer life. Listen, mediate on His words, and ask a little later.

Confidence

Today, has been an interesting day of self discovery. I find myself lacking in confidence. You could say that this has been a problem I have had for so long the actual reasons behind my lack of confidence are a foggy mist. Over the course of my life, I have been good at a few things that I spent a great deal of time on; school, sports, and writing. However, every time I may have accomplished something in those areas, I quickly coiled back, thinking there must be someone better than me and that my accomplishment was truly not one for the history books. I find myself thinking, I cannot be confident in myself, because then I will develop an ego and be prideful.

God sees us very different than the world. I realized that I so often bury my accomplishments for fear of being prideful of them. Yet, I compare my accomplishments with others and try to gain confidence when I outperform them on a certain task or activity. Thanks to the Holy Spirit of God I realized that this is what I have been doing for a good majority of my life, and it is wrong. God does not see me in terms of accomplishments or even gifts and talents. He sees me as Danielle an unrighteous, self centered, idol worshipping gal that would have nothing to do with God and his mystery of grace unless he plucked me out of sloth-living and brought me into right standing with Him. When God looks at me, he does not see Masters degrees, fast running times, or published articles. Rather, God sees righteousness reflected in the splendor of Jesus. Jesus and his power in my life is what clouds all my accomplishments. The eyes that God uses to see me are ones with favor and joy. He looks at me and sees what was lost and has been found.There was so much joy in my heart when this was made known to me today. There is so much freedom in putting on God's glasses and seeing myself in His view. My confidence rests on faith. The shear faith that Jesus and his death on the cross helps God to see me as righteous. Righteousness has eternal worth as my academics, sports, and writing will never come close.

When God looks at us, he does not see as this world sees. We have to open our hearts to understanding that we are loved based not on merit, achievement, or success but rather, the victory of Jesus Christ on the cross. If we want to stop living with a lack of confidence, if we want to stop living by others opinions of us, we must embrace the fact that the only thing we can base our hope on is that Jesus makes us worth something to God. When we stop striving for talents and accomplishments, and hold fast to the simple truth, that when God gazes in our eyes, he sees his prized possessions, we will live the life he wanted for us. If we live by this, we will see others in this light too. No longer will we see our competition, but we will see people that God intended for righteousness.

Therefore, I admit, I lack self-confidence in what the world sees as success. But, when I sit and talk with Jesus, my heart is overwhelmed with the joy that God sees me as full of promise for eternity.

Psalm 16

" I said to the LORD, "You are my Lord;
apart from you I have no good thing."
Psalm 16:2

I pray that this will be the attitude of my heart. There are times when I am occupied with things that are not God. Some of these things are good things that God has created. However, I find myself worshipping the created thing rather than God. For example, I love to sit and relax on my couch. Now, it is not bad for me to want to sit and be still for a while. Yet, there are times when I worship the fact that I can come home and sit on my couch. Now, I know I may be taking this example to an extreme, but I was convicted of my desire for comfort rather than God. No matter how comfortable my couch may be or no matter how relaxed I may feel when sitting on it, it pales in comparison to the peace I can find from worshipping God. I truly pray that my heart, in all circumstances, will recognize that there is no good thing apart from being with God. In our world today, we can be tempted to think that created things, like a couch and being comfortable, deserve our worship. But, these things will all pass away, whether in a few moments, a few years, or a lifetime, the same rings true, that none of these things last for eternity. Let us live out this Psalm so that we can sing the final verse for eternity.

"You have made known to me the path of life;
you will fill me with joy in your presence,
with eternal pleasures at your right hand"
Psalm 16:11

Thanksgiving

I sit writing to you looking out of my floor to ceiling windows at the Prudential Center and the Boston skyline. I admit, I never would have told you about a year ago that I loved Boston, but today I can tell you, I absolutely do.

This year has been one of profound change. With my Mom's passing, things have changed value, ideas have morphed into action, and life has taken on a new meaning. Yet, through it all, one thing remains the same, I am thankful. I am thankful for the way God has changed my heart over this year. I have learned to trust and appreciate every day and every moment because it may be my last. Boston no longer seems like a harsh place, filled with harsh people, but rather a place where love needs to be shown more fully. I am so thankful that God has placed Chris and I in this city and as I sit and look at it, my heart begins to smile, because I know I am in the right place at the right time.

When you lose something so valuable like hearing your mother's voice day after day, or watching her smile as you go on and on about how much you love your husband, it feels like someone stole your heart out of your body and drove over it with a Mack truck. It feels like nothing will ever be the same, and nothing will be as joyful as it used to be. Yet, there is joy that cannot be explained in words, and can not come from striving to get it. This joy comes from knowing that there is a God in heaven that cares about you. This joy comes from knowing the God never intended me to feel like my heart was stolen but, rather he intends my heart to be mended back together.

Over the past year, I have learned not only that I need to be living in Boston, but also, that I need to believe in God for who he really is. Without God, I can tell you, I would not have joy and I would not be thankful. I can tell you, I would not understand hope, and I would not understand why I no longer have a mother. But, with God, I can tell you my heart is overwhelmed with love and peace in not just this circumstance, but every circumstance large or small. I do not look to God as my crutch, to help me get through tradgedy. But, rather I see God as the only constant in my life. This year has taught me that God truly has the power to bring people closer to him, to heal a broken heart, to restore joy and peace, and much more. God has taught me that I was looking to him for only half when he wants me to see him for 100 percent.

We get so wrapped up in life, we forget to see the best part. Sometimes, we spend too much time thinking about what's right in front of us, we forget to see the big picture. If you don't believe in God, I ask you to give him a shot. Not so that he can solve all your problems, not so that he can make you a better person, no so that... But, rather because he is the best thing you will get. He is what brings joy when you have none, he is what brings peace in chaos, he is what brings purpose to meaninglessness, He is the best you will get. So, I ask you to see, that I cannot be thankful on my own, it is out of God's love for me that I am overwhelmed with thankfulness. Thankfulness that has taken me out of depair and brought me into marvelous joy, even though, my circumstances still remain the same.