Thanksgiving

I sit writing to you looking out of my floor to ceiling windows at the Prudential Center and the Boston skyline. I admit, I never would have told you about a year ago that I loved Boston, but today I can tell you, I absolutely do.

This year has been one of profound change. With my Mom's passing, things have changed value, ideas have morphed into action, and life has taken on a new meaning. Yet, through it all, one thing remains the same, I am thankful. I am thankful for the way God has changed my heart over this year. I have learned to trust and appreciate every day and every moment because it may be my last. Boston no longer seems like a harsh place, filled with harsh people, but rather a place where love needs to be shown more fully. I am so thankful that God has placed Chris and I in this city and as I sit and look at it, my heart begins to smile, because I know I am in the right place at the right time.

When you lose something so valuable like hearing your mother's voice day after day, or watching her smile as you go on and on about how much you love your husband, it feels like someone stole your heart out of your body and drove over it with a Mack truck. It feels like nothing will ever be the same, and nothing will be as joyful as it used to be. Yet, there is joy that cannot be explained in words, and can not come from striving to get it. This joy comes from knowing that there is a God in heaven that cares about you. This joy comes from knowing the God never intended me to feel like my heart was stolen but, rather he intends my heart to be mended back together.

Over the past year, I have learned not only that I need to be living in Boston, but also, that I need to believe in God for who he really is. Without God, I can tell you, I would not have joy and I would not be thankful. I can tell you, I would not understand hope, and I would not understand why I no longer have a mother. But, with God, I can tell you my heart is overwhelmed with love and peace in not just this circumstance, but every circumstance large or small. I do not look to God as my crutch, to help me get through tradgedy. But, rather I see God as the only constant in my life. This year has taught me that God truly has the power to bring people closer to him, to heal a broken heart, to restore joy and peace, and much more. God has taught me that I was looking to him for only half when he wants me to see him for 100 percent.

We get so wrapped up in life, we forget to see the best part. Sometimes, we spend too much time thinking about what's right in front of us, we forget to see the big picture. If you don't believe in God, I ask you to give him a shot. Not so that he can solve all your problems, not so that he can make you a better person, no so that... But, rather because he is the best thing you will get. He is what brings joy when you have none, he is what brings peace in chaos, he is what brings purpose to meaninglessness, He is the best you will get. So, I ask you to see, that I cannot be thankful on my own, it is out of God's love for me that I am overwhelmed with thankfulness. Thankfulness that has taken me out of depair and brought me into marvelous joy, even though, my circumstances still remain the same.