Confidence

Today, has been an interesting day of self discovery. I find myself lacking in confidence. You could say that this has been a problem I have had for so long the actual reasons behind my lack of confidence are a foggy mist. Over the course of my life, I have been good at a few things that I spent a great deal of time on; school, sports, and writing. However, every time I may have accomplished something in those areas, I quickly coiled back, thinking there must be someone better than me and that my accomplishment was truly not one for the history books. I find myself thinking, I cannot be confident in myself, because then I will develop an ego and be prideful.

God sees us very different than the world. I realized that I so often bury my accomplishments for fear of being prideful of them. Yet, I compare my accomplishments with others and try to gain confidence when I outperform them on a certain task or activity. Thanks to the Holy Spirit of God I realized that this is what I have been doing for a good majority of my life, and it is wrong. God does not see me in terms of accomplishments or even gifts and talents. He sees me as Danielle an unrighteous, self centered, idol worshipping gal that would have nothing to do with God and his mystery of grace unless he plucked me out of sloth-living and brought me into right standing with Him. When God looks at me, he does not see Masters degrees, fast running times, or published articles. Rather, God sees righteousness reflected in the splendor of Jesus. Jesus and his power in my life is what clouds all my accomplishments. The eyes that God uses to see me are ones with favor and joy. He looks at me and sees what was lost and has been found.There was so much joy in my heart when this was made known to me today. There is so much freedom in putting on God's glasses and seeing myself in His view. My confidence rests on faith. The shear faith that Jesus and his death on the cross helps God to see me as righteous. Righteousness has eternal worth as my academics, sports, and writing will never come close.

When God looks at us, he does not see as this world sees. We have to open our hearts to understanding that we are loved based not on merit, achievement, or success but rather, the victory of Jesus Christ on the cross. If we want to stop living with a lack of confidence, if we want to stop living by others opinions of us, we must embrace the fact that the only thing we can base our hope on is that Jesus makes us worth something to God. When we stop striving for talents and accomplishments, and hold fast to the simple truth, that when God gazes in our eyes, he sees his prized possessions, we will live the life he wanted for us. If we live by this, we will see others in this light too. No longer will we see our competition, but we will see people that God intended for righteousness.

Therefore, I admit, I lack self-confidence in what the world sees as success. But, when I sit and talk with Jesus, my heart is overwhelmed with the joy that God sees me as full of promise for eternity.