Blogging is Graffiti

I saw a movie once that stated that blogging is "throwing permanent graffiti up on the wall of the internet." I found this quite intriguing and agree to some respect. I love this blog. This was not always the case. I used to feel ashamed that I had opinions or thoughts on things about God. I would feel like I should really delete what I wrote, someone is bound to disagree and get upset with me. But, over the past few months, I have realized that speaking the truth sometimes gets you into hot water. The reality is that hot water can be soothing or scorching depending on how you look at it.

When I write, I think about what God is showing me in life and try and share it. Sometimes, I see situations in life, especially in our church, that need some talking about. But, one thing is clear, I do love God's church, as imperfect as it may be. Also, I do believe that all people, even the "worst of us", are deserving of love and God's grace. When I named my blog, I thought of a verse in John where Jesus invites all people into heaven. That is what I firmly believe. However, at times, issues need to be addressed and the Bible needs to be taken seriously. I am in no means an expert on this, just someone that has a truth compass that needs to be pointing in the right direction. Therefore, I spray some truth graffiti up on this wall.

The words I write are important to me to share. And, I am sure some of you will agree with what I write and some won't. However, the most important thing I'm concerned with is getting my message straight. There are times I won't get it quite right, but I am sure with enough patience, I will eventually figure it out. So, I do love this blog. And, I believe that even if not a single person reads what I write, I get my thoughts out and into space where something can be done about them.

Our Time in Singapore Thus Far...

I figured it was about time to update you all on some of the things I learned here in Singapore for the past two months. First of all, I am so glad we came. There are times I am very sad and miss home. But, then, I am reminded of why we are here in the first place, God wants us to grow. And, I can see that happening in just two short months. The culture is very similar to Boston. People are always on the move, working hard to succeed, put on a good face, and attain the prize. As far as adjusting to a new country, Singapore is not that hard to get used to. However, this is where the challenge is for us. We could very easily slip back into the comfortable place we were in Boston. It is easy to get caught up in work, television, shopping, and going out. But, there is this pull from God to do things differently. We have adjusted to the strange foods, the long lines, and many people pushing you in various directions on the train. We have found grocery stores, movie theaters, and even a church to attend. And, yes, we can sleep through the construction going on around us now, no problem.

But, what about the deep stuff. What have we learned while being here? I think I can break it down in three simple things. Love for each other, love for God's church around the world, and love for people that do not know about God. This is what our life is focused on right now. We are so enjoying being with one another in a new way. We have grown closer to one another through our adjustments, including the idea of our little baby coming along. We have had occasional dates, and I can say I enjoy sitting in the office with Chris when he has late night conference calls. Because of the church we have started to attend, we have also been able to grow closer to God. The sermons are powerful and they have called us to repentance and radically changed our thinking about our love for God. We have met people that have embraced us and helped us to feel at home so quickly. In the first meeting with our community group, I was given profound prophesy over my life here in Singapore, and the men and women prayed earnestly for each of us and our baby. It is amazing to see God answer my prayers for a community that truly loves one another and God above all else. It is refreshing to be part of God's church and to know that he takes care of us no matter what country we are in. And, finally, God has burned in our hearts how important it is to share him with others. There is such joy in knowing that people who don't know God will through us. We are excited to see what will happen when this is shared with people here in Asia. There is so much more in store for our evangelism opportunities and we are excited to see what will come of it.

So, I encourage you, if you are given an opportunity for advancing your work life, think about what it could do for your spiritual life. Never respond immediately without listening to what God has to say. Some people may have thought we just moved so that Chris could advance his career. But, in this move, we are learning more about God than we ever thought possible. There is so much that God can do with us when we are obedient to him. And, I'm excited to see what the next year here in Singapore will bring.

Be uncomfortable without seeking reward

On my walk today, I began thinking about how much I hate being uncomfortable. It starts with a simple spill of coffee on my pants, or pouring sweat as I am walking, and extends to having awkward conversations with people, and having people try and hug me that don't even know me. I don't like to be uncomfortable. I'd much rather have things my way. When things go wrong, or not according to my plan, stress arises and I become the wicked witch of the West.

During my walk, God challenged me to think about the idea that it is during uncomfortable seasons in our lives that we grow into people that are willing to take risks, to step outside the box of American life, and live the lives God imagines for us. Now, this does not mean that by being uncomfortable we will be rewarded. Actually, there may never be a reward in this life for being uncomfortable. People may try to sell you on rewards, even Christian people. "If you move to a dangerous country and share the gospel, you will be rewarded." No, you will just be rewarded with praise in this life. But, when you truly make yourself vulnerable to God and his plans for your life, then you will know what it is like to follow the life of Jesus. And, my friends, we all know how that turned out. He was crucified. So, when I think uncomfortable, it means for the long haul without earthly rewards.

In the Bible, we see reflections of this idea. Paul is never concerned with his safety or comfort. He is never thinking about when he will get his next meal. His heart is steadfast on sharing who Jesus is with as many people as he can. Usher in the New Testament of the Bible. We could look at his life and sadly think, if I do great things for God, then will I be rewarded and have books written by me and about me and my love for God. But, we are deceived in thinking that is the main point of our lives a Christians. Even if we do not do a single thing worthy of human praise, God knows the state of our hearts. He knows when we choose to live in a smaller house to donate more, he knows when we refused to work a second job so we can spend time teaching our children, he knows our hearts. He knows when we push the envelop of comfort. We can talk a big game about what we do for Jesus but he really knows.

Today, my heart was moved for a young boy in a wheelchair. He was using sensory inputs to comfort himself and I wanted to just lay my hands on him and make him better. But, I didn't. Not because I was afraid. But, because it would have been uncomfortable. I acknowledged this to God. He didn't respond by condemning me, making me feel like I did it again, didn't put others before myself. No, in that moment of confession to God, I sensed encouragement from him. He spoke to me saying, "You had compassion, you are beginning to get it." You see, we live with God in a process of growth. No matter what other Christians tell you, there is no Christian that gets first prize. If they live in a Muslim country, sell all their possessions, see a hundred people saved in an afternoon, they are not rewarded. Don't be deceived by their talk. God cares about what is going on in your heart and loves to change it even delights in it.

My friends, the reward in life is being close to God. You cannot do amazing things without God. And, if you wake up thinking you want to do amazing things for God, you are sadly misinformed. God cares about your development as a person in love with him. Good things will flow out of you for which you can either choose to focus on worldly or heavenly reward. There are no gold star stickers with God. The person that prays for the boy in the wheelchair is no better than the person that wants to reach out to him. There is a process going on in each person. And, who are we to judge that process!

I encourage you to find out where you are with God. Are you content in your life? Are you thinking you are better than another Christian? Are you seeking praises from men and acknowledgement of your talents and skills? Think about where your heart is at. Ask to be made uncomfortable. There is so much joy when we admit we need God. There is peace when we realize our own efforts cannot reap rewards. And, for all of you seeking a reward...even one in heaven... I would flip to Philippians 2 and be reminded of Jesus' obedience on the cross. Never once was his mind focus on rewards.

The Reason for the Season

As the holidays approach, my heart is filled with joy. There is joy in knowing that I will see family and friends. There is joy in knowing that I am carrying a new little member of our family in my growing belly. But, most of all, when Christmas approaches, I am reminded of why I even celebrate it! If you are not a Christian, celebrating Christmas is kind of silly. I have to tell you. You may say to me, "well its a good time to spend with family and friends, and to show love." But, really that isn't true. I'm sorry. If you are a Christian, Christmas is not just a time to get cozy with those you love. You see, as a Christian, Christmas is a reminder of what our faith is all about. On Christmas, we celebrate Jesus' birth. We celebrate that we believe he came to earth for us. So, that one day, everyone that believes in him and follows his ways, will be reunited in a family party in heaven. There is joy this Christmas if your family is Christian. It is a mini heavenly celebration when you get together. But, there is some sadness if you family is not Christian. However, today is a chance to think about why you even celebrate Christmas. I know some of you get overwhelmed buying presents, going to holiday parties, even trying to get together with family. There is a reason why you feel that way. It is because that is not the point of Christmas! And, folks, I'm not really one to knock Christmas. I really do love the tree, giving presents, sharing good food. But, maybe a little too much! You see, if we forget what Jesus' birth means for us, then we miss out on true joy! There is true joy knowing that Christmas ushered in the birth of Jesus. We can continue to deny its truth or we can embrace it as reality.

If you are Christian, and you are getting excited to plan your party, or thinking about what to buy your sister for a present, I encourage you to think deeper about the holiday. Ask God, what do I really believe? Ask God to show you the true joy in the season. Don't buy the gimmicks at Starbucks. Don't buy the idea of doing something kind for someone just because its the holidays. Remember who Jesus is and be confident in what he did for you by coming to live on this earth! And, go out, and tell someone else! Love them with a genuine heart. Don't fake it. Don't fake joy, get it from God.

If you are not a Christian, I ask you to consider Jesus. I ask you to think about why you don't believe in him. Is it because silly people like me are always trying to get you to believe? Or is it because you have too much hurt to actually believe a God cares for you? Whatever the reason, now is the time to question why? Don't let another holiday season pass you by without considering what Jesus is all about. Pick up a tattered Bible, or access it on your iPhone. Read the story of Jesus' birth. Contemplate who he really is. And, ask God for his joy to fill you during this season.

Let us not fill our glasses, and drawers with presents this season without acknowledging what Christmas really means. It is a religious holiday for good reason. Embrace who God is on this day whether in a new perspective, or with brand news eyes. He is a good God. He really does bring joy whether it is Christmas or any ordinary day of the week. And, because of his birth, we can rejoice knowing that the God we believe in stepped down from heaven and was born a tiny little baby, so that we could have fullness of joy for all days.

My Anger Management Problem

Have you ever wanted to sucker punch someone? This question may present itself as somewhat odd on a Christian blog. But, I'm sure you have had the feeling. For me, I have noticed that this tendency arises when I am sitting with a braggart, a prideful fool, a person that will tell you everything about everything they have ever done, and then ask, "how are you?" My mind races, my heart beats fast, my fist starting to curl up into a ball. Then, I hear this tiny voice. Tiny. It is soft and says, "forgive them, for they know not what they do." I sit there arguing for a minute with the voice. But, they are so conceited, they never stop talking, I want to show them what they are really made of. The voice again starts to get louder and says, "love one another."

This battle goes on for me, thankfully not daily, but on a few occasions. I have seen a change in my reaction. When I was young, I didn't hear the voice. I actually think I punched a few people. Yeh, its true. When I started to hear the voice, I ignored it, and gave my too much needed cents. Usually, this resulted in a loss of friendship or a really awkward situation. However, recently, I have noted that when I have the urge to punch, the voice is so much louder than it has been in the past. And not only can I hear the voice, but I can see the face of the person changing. I can see their hurt, their abandonment, their need to be noticed. I'm still not at the point where I can say anything to encourage them. But, I can feel my hands uncurl, my heart go soft, and actually, begin to listen behind their words.

I hear a voice. But, I'm not schizophrenic. I'm sure of it. This voice is the one of the Holy Spirit. The third part of God. Don't ask me to explain the Trinity because I have no clue how it works and I don't think we are supposed to get it. But, this part of God helps you. The voice of the Holy Spirit helps to transform the person you once were into the person you are to become. It is a relief when you hear this voice. You can guarantee that your reaction to circumstances will be much more favorable than if you didn't hear the voice. We can thank God for the Holy Spirit because this voice is the one that helps you to love and forgive without your own effort.

Today, I am thankful to report that I haven't punched anyone is several years. My anger management class has taken up shop with the Holy Spirit and I am far from graduation but, closer to success than before. The Holy Spirit helps us to function in this life out of love. We can be thankful when we love from a genuine heart because we know it is the Holy Spirit's work.

You all want to sucker punch people. You all want to get the best for yourself. You want it your way or the highway. It is when you recognize this that you are evoking the Holy Spirit's presence in your life. Recognizing that you cannot love without the help of the third party of God is the first step to growing closer to God. The Holy Spirit is what helps us control our human desires and wants and puts us back in place in line with Jesus. We do not need to perfect. We do not need to pretend we love everyone. We don't. But, God does, and he will help us with the Holy Spirit to love those we find unloveable. Amen!

Are you content living in Slop?

This morning I was doing a lot of thinking and talking with Chris about church. I tend to do this a lot so it wasn't really much of a surprise. However, as I was talking I learned a lot about what I see as an ideal church. I firmly believe that God sent us here to Singapore to show us what church really should be about. He plucked us out of our routines and familiarity and brought us into new territory. Even before we left, I really felt like God was confirming that he was sending us so that we could grow and learn from people here. And, it is happening. We have been part of a church here in a much more relaxed style than ever before. We meet up with some people on Thursday nights, and attend church on Sundays. However, it is different. We are not going because we have to, we are going because we want to. The people we have met are so different from us yet, their love for Jesus is what unites us. They invite us to workout sessions, dinner, coffee, and bonding times. It feels real. It feels like they really want to get to know us and love us. It feels like the beginnings of good relationships. Things are different here. Church is not about a service on Sunday, or who is saved and who isn't, and who is falling away and who isn't, or what ministry opportunities are present. Church here is about growth. Growth in love for others and growth in our relationship with God.

Going back home, it is clear we have changed. It is clear that our ideas of church have shifted. I write today praying that our churches in America will reflect what I have seen here. It is sad for me to think about how so often we are too busy ticking off our to-do list that we forget about how important the people in our churches are. We are so busy planning the next big event that we forget about the daily events going on in the hearts of people around us. If we call ourselves Christians, we should be following Christ. I'm guilty of pushing my own way in this world. But, being in Singapore has shown me that it is time to stop. Really, who cares if the clothes aren't folded, and my run isn't done, if I have not given up a moment for someone that really needs me.

Stop and think today. Are you wasting your life? Are you just going through the motions of church to check it off the list? If you are, I give you a fair warning today. There is so much more God wants us to live for. He wants our homes to always be filled, our hearts always willing to offer a prayer, food ready to be given away. Jobs, money, cares in this life will come and go. But, God's church stands to be a light not a distraction from Jesus. Church is not about doing what is right or good. It is about living out the Bible together. If we miss this point, we miss what we are doing living and breathing here on earth. Let us learn to put our necks out for one another. Let us learn to really serve one another. Not just push in a chair, or make it look like we really care about one another when we could really give a crap.

I'm being harsh about this because I am speaking the truth. And, it is a harsh reality that we spend way too much time on ourselves as Americans. But, that is why the gospel and Jesus' message is hard to swallow. He wants us to stop living for ourselves and live for those around us. We need to pull together not grow further apart. Please stand with me in this. Don't brush my words aside because you are a content pig living in slop. God wants more from us and for us in our churches. And, if you don't believe, come to Singapore. You will see a difference in how the church operates. But, if you want to continue living in slop, go ahead, but know time is running out on your life clock.

Love and Loss

We all know the quote, "It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all." I started to think about grief and loss today. I realized that not many people really experience the loss of someone that is deeply close to them until much later on in life. For most people, life takes its normal course. We grow and age and first lose our grandparents and then lose our parents and then well, you know where this is going without me being exceptionally morbid. Sure, we may lose a close friend, or a dearly loved neighbor, but, a parent or guardian at a young age, or a child, not many people can claim that experience. Those that have can understand the above quote to the core of it.

Love is a precious gift that is given without reservation. There are many flaws to love and no form of love is perfect. Yet, without it, we are unable to live a life that is significant. When we lose someone we truly love, there is this feeling in the pit of the heart that will never be filled. There are moments we are caught by surprise at how much we miss that person. There is an ache, and tears that do not stop flowing. But, then, in the revelation that this person is no longer there, something happens. A realization that you loved someone so much that you feel so empty without them. This is why love is the greatest gift. It transcends life and death. Love is a feeling that is not capable of being explained. It is given to us and we can be thankful even if there is loss.

When I was young, I was always afraid of losing those that I loved. Not sure where I developed this fear. My childhood was stable, minus the extended relatives that decided to take a hitch hike because they couldn't deal. But, mostly stable. Fear of loss troubled me at night. I remember thinking of how sad it would be to lose my mom or dad, grandmother. I would stay awake thinking of it. Yet, when it actually happened, I learned a valuable lesson. There is no fear in loss. Loss is what reminds us that we are capable of loving. You see, if we go about our lives expecting everything to turn out just the way we want, when loss strikes, we are found in utter despair. But, when we live, knowing that our moments are few, our love for others has a chance to deepen into something that only proves itself after the person is gone.

I am not really the crying type. But, I will tell you, that when you lose someone so close you can still hear their voice inside your head, the tears will flow. These tears come at times when you let down your guard. And, it is in that moment that you can sense that love is real. There is no explanation why some people never lose a loved one until they are aged and why others lose them far too soon. There is no explanation in why life deals the cards it does. But, when you are sitting alone, remembering the laughter and the joy of that person, it becomes apparent that love is universal. No matter if you are young or old losing a special person reminds you that loving is what makes us feel alive.

If you have lost someone, I do not offer a pat on the back or a tissue, I offer you a moment, a moment to cry, to honor that person. I offer you a moment to appreciate the fact that you opened yourself to love. And, I offer you the joy of knowing that loving is what your life is all about. Do not fear loss, do not let it master you. Sure enough, a day will come, when you will see that person again, after a long embrace, the love will be left, and the loss will disappear.